It's Where You're Going
“The journey of 1000 Miles begins beneath one’s feet”. (Lao-tzu, The Way of Lao-Tau. Chinese philosopher, 604 BCE - 531 BCE)
The single most important perspective I have adopted in my improvement efforts, both professionally and personally, is to realize where I stand is the point of departure on my journey to get better. How we got to this point does not matter. What matters is where we are going to go.
As a project manager, I have been assigned to projects, late and over- budget. The key to success in these cases was to focus on how to finish them, not on how to fix what had already happened. The team needed to create a plan to move from where they stood toward the goal of delivering to customers. What mattered was where we were, but where we were going and how we were going to get there.
These lessons apply equally well to our own lives. For example, many of us struggle to control our weight.
Perhaps you have just stepped on the bathroom scale and gasped! The scrolling digits have finally settled to a number much larger than you expected. “I have never been that fat!”, you exclaim. "That’s it! I'm going on a diet right now!”. “I’m going to fit I those skinny jeans if it kills me!”. We have all experienced weigh-scale shock.
The number you see does not matter!
You are what you are and no amount of guilt or second-guessing will change it. What are you going to do about it?
As Lao-Tau said, your journey begins exactly where you are standing. Your actual weight at this point is not the most important factor, even if it carries a label, like “obese” or “overweight” or even “underweight”. That weight will not be your weight tomorrow; you will either continue adding weight or you will take the steps necessary to reduce weight. Your current weight is a point of departure, regardless whether take determined action or not. The implication of Lao-tzu’s wise words is that you start where you are and move in the direction of your destination. Your journey of 1000 miles will be one of many small steps, starting with a step from where you stand, and heading in the direction of your destination 1000 miles away.
Your journey is not aimless wandering; “If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there” (Lewis Carroll). You have a destination in mind. You have a goal, your own personal goal, that belongs to you and no one else. You need to clearly identify that goal, so it is your compass during your journey. There are those who will suggest that the more specific your goal the better like "I want to weigh 135 lbs.”. But your goal can be specific and measurable without stating an exact weight. It can be a fuzzy goal, like “I want to weigh less at my next birthday than I do today”. Note there is no particular target weight. But it is a measurable goal. You weight yourself today, an again on your birthday and there should be a positive difference. And maybe that goal will be enough for you to take the first step. It may be a better goal because it is achievable and will motivate you. There are many reasons why this kind of goal may be suitable, and those reasons belong to you. Can tell the people around you your goal, but you do not need to justify it to them.
Having established a goal you need to take your first step in that direction. Of course, there are many strategies for deciding what step to take. You can change eating habits or activity levels. You control these and you get to choose. But you need to check your progress to ensure you are actually heading toward your destination. Typically, we would measure distance traveled and check that we are progressing quickly enough to achieve the goal. And herein lies the first risk of goal-setting. What if you did not lose the weight you thought you would? What if you attended a huge wedding celebration and you actually gained weight rather than lose? How will you react?
So again, we turn to Lao-tzu for advice, and strangely his advice has not changed. Your journey is long, and it starts from where you stand. The path is not straight and level; it has turns, it has rough patches, and it has steep uphill stretches. But if you view the next step in your journey as the most important, and you always ignore how you arrived at this point, you may be able to put the disappointment behind you. If you had not started down this road to begin, you may be in worse shape.
And what about the goal you set? You can assess whether it is still achievable; if not, you should modify the goal. You can reflect on whether the goal is actually important enough to help you over the bumps or really does not reflect where you want to go. If not, change it. The goal is your goal, you need to want it and own it.
“But doesn’t this mean I will fail to achieve my goal weight?” Possibly. But in reality, the trend you are on is more important. Are you moving in the right direction? Then you are closer to your destination than you were yesterday. Stay the course. Your goal provides a compass to keep you moving to a better place. The number you use is less important than the direction it takes you.
I have chosen to use weight loss as the example of an objective many of us share. But the concept applies equally to any objective. If your objective is to run a marathon, you will train according to a plan that starts where you are standing. Even if you are not yet a runner, there is the first step. When you run your first 10k, you have a first step to get from where you are to where you want to be.
Where you right now does not matter. Where you are heading matters. Choose to take a step and learn to love the journey!